On June 7th, 2011, Dayna's dad came into town to spend some time with her and to celebrate his birthday. He very, VERY generously bought us all tickets to a New York Yankees baseball game!!! I had never been to one before, and it was such a "New York" thing to do! We started the afternoon at Think Coffee, where we met Dayna and her dad for some beers. David, Dayna's dad, came up with the brilliant idea that we put our 2nd beer in a coffee cup and take it "to-go" on the subway up to the stadium, which is ALL the way in the Bronx! For the rest of the night, we all kept asking each other who wanted "more coffee"....too funny!

The game was super exciting, it was Yankees versus the Boston Red Sox....definitely a very heated crowd! I'm not a huge baseball fan either way, so I wore yellow and stayed very neutral. We mostly enjoyed Bud Light and talked to each other about life, since baseball games are pretty long and relatively uneventful. In the picture, there's Cameran, Sean, Dayna, me, and Dayna's friend Lewis. SO MUCH FUN. What a great way to spend a Tuesday.

Now that New York has warmed up, I have found myself in a much more consistent gleeful state. Everything is happy, every day is awesome, and I am so lucky to be in such an exciting, vibrant city with so many people that I love. I hope I can hold on to this feeling even when the weather starts to cool down.

And Basquiat Continues...

I was invited to perform yet ANOTHER time with Red Blisset, Paul Stancato, and the Basquiat crew. We performed at John Forslund's "Bound For Broadway", the same showcase that I started in! This whole thing has come so beautifully full circle. Well, almost!

Sunday, May 29th, Memorial Day Weekend, and yet STILL a sold out house! John is so talented....I don't know how he does it! We performed "Tom Song", "Mudd Club", and new piece that we had all just learned two days earlier, "Come Back". "Come Back" is really cool because it uses phrases and lyrics from some of the other songs we were familiar with. And then, since the lovely Miss Felicia Finley hosted the show, we ended it with her single, "Closin' Time", which is the number where I get to sing under her! She told me in person after the rehearsal, "I really want to feature you in the song, so you should really sing out more! I think we really mesh well together, so just go balls out, girl!"

She really is fantastic. Such a fun lady and what an incredible spirit! I hope she becomes someone who can act as a little bit of a mentor to me. I've already learned alot from her by just WATCHING her interact with other people. She has a huge personality and is definitely an individual, but she also can totally command the attention of a room. And also by being nice and polite! Amazing.

I hope they keep inviting me back! This Basquiat project is totally inspiring....and I am so fortunate to have stumbled across it!

Perfect Friday Night

Memorial Day weekend, 2011. I haven't made any big plans in particular for this weekend, I figured it would be a good opportunity for me to pick up some extra serving shifts at the restaurant. I also got offered ANOTHER gig singing with Red, Felicia and the "Basquiat" team, and I'm certainly not one to turn down an opportunity to perform!

Thursday afternoon was one of the most perfect "start of summer" days I could imagine. I met Katie, Jen and Katie's mom and Aunt Linda at "The Frying Pan", a very famous summer-time hang out. The Frying Pan is a bar, restaurant and grill all on a BOAT off of 26th St at Chelsea piers. It was SO, SO COOL! We started with Bloody Mary's and then moved to the roof of the boat for some wraps and coronas. I feel so at home with Katie's family. They are very similar to my own, so I feel right at home. They were so kind to offer me an invitation to come spend some time at their yacht club in New Jersey this summer, I can't wait!

Then, yesterday, after my rehearsal for Sunday's show, I was all a-twitter with inspiration. I ended up having lunch with Eric, another featured singer in the production, and listening to his experiences in the city. I'm ALWAYS, always inspired talking to people who are in the business. After lunch at this really cute Thai place (with and AWESOME $7 prixfix lunch special....) I walked around the theatre district. It was warm and sunny, and kind of took me right back to when I was here 3 years ago. I looked at all the theatres and wondered what it would be like to actually be coming here to WORK. And everyday, too, except Monday. If you're working the way I want to work, you are working 6-10 hours every day, on weekends and through holidays.

I love it. Thinking about it makes me tingly.

I let myself sweat in the sun and enjoyed the heat. I've been longing for warm weather ever since I got here, and it's HERE. I stopped in the theatres for "How to Succeed" and "Phantom" to see if they offered any student rates...which they didn't. No big. I'll figure it out some other time.

After my stroll I worked myself to the bone at the gym (getting in better physical shape is just something I need to make a priority every day. If I am pursuing a career in entertainment, this is just what people who are successful DO. They are active. They are active DAILY and they eat well. And they are cut. I need to become this.) I was inspired there to cook a feast!!!

It was such a lovely evening. I invited Dayna, William and Geoff over for my feast of homemade mango and cucumber salsa, and baked bell peppers stuffed with turkey, garlic and spices. Throw in a few glasses of cheap malbec, and you have yourself a feast! We sat on the couch and the floor in my living room, since I have no proper dining space, and talked about weddings and Germany and theatre and New York. I love them. I could not manage to survive in this city without knowing that they are there. I also love these times of being able to spontaneously plan these lovely get togethers. I love that my life isn't in any kind of routine, that I can pick up and take off wherever I want to when I have the free time. I love being in the same place as my loved ones, and I LOVE not being tied down to anything. It's a great life, and I really need to soak up every second of it!

INSANE. THIS CITY IS SO SMALL.

So.....the past few weeks have been UNBELIEVABLY eventful!!!! I'm sure there will come a time in my life when I will look back on these days in New York and think, "Sigh...remember when my life was so exciting and eventful? I miss those days." I must appreciate this now while I have it!!

To begin, I got fired for the first time, EVER. It was a very unfortunate situation, and it has been resolved...my primary objective was to end things on a good note with my supervisor, which I achieved. So there is no use in wasting anymore space on this post about it. Point is, I was horrified and felt terrible and now I feel better and have overcome!

I spent one very much needed week at home. I reached the end of my threshold with the cold weather, and spent the last week of April in the warmth and green of Raleigh, N.C. That, too was an eventful week....phew! But I won't get into that now.

When I came back, even though I was in need of a job, one just plopped into my lap. A regular at the bar at Brother Jimmy's approached me about meeting and discussing employment opportunities...he needed an assistant to maintain connections and communication with his contact list. I can totally do that.

My first assignment? Sort through literally about 2,000 business cards to a) see which ones were still valid and b) tell people about new services being offered...etc. As I began to make these calls, I realized that what I was doing was making a SALES call. It was really interested to hear the variety of responses, some people were totally mean and some people were very nice. I learned how to handle certain scenarios over the phone, and I've ended up with about 100 people who I can actually email. I also think it was important to touch base in person before just straight up sending an email out.

ANYWAYS. So I'm sitting at Think Coffee with Dayna and a bag of cards....I'm on like, card number 150 for the day, and I pull out a cream colored card that says nothing but the name "Gerard Basquiat", a SoHo address and a phone number.

"Oh, that's funny," I thought, "I just did 'Basquiat, the Musical'....tee hee hee...what a coincidence!" I wrote a quippy post on Paul Stancato and Red Blisset's wall about it.

I called the number on the card. I had a very nice conversation with an older sounding man with an accent. I gave him my sales schpeel, and asked if I could send him an email, to which, he replied, "I don't have email, but you are welcome to send me a fax." I thanked him and hung up.

The more I started to think about it, the more I realized that Basquiat isn't exactly a common name. And WHO in the world DOESN'T have email these days? I Googled the guy, Gerard Basquiat, and it turns out that he is Jean-Michel Basquiat's FATHER. HIS FATHER. The project I JUST WORKED ON ABOUT BASQUIAT.....Here was his DAD. I had just spoken to his dad ON THE PHONE.

I freaked out and contacted the guy I'm working for, enthusiastically asking him how in the HELL did he know Gerard Basquiat and how did he obtain his card?! "Oh, I grew up in SoHo and was friends with his son, Jean-Michel. He died several years ago."

.....

I had the golden ticket. THE GOLDEN TICKET. I've written Paul and Red about it, and got the response I hoped for, which was, "I'd love to meet with the guy you're working for to pick his brain." And BEFORE I coordinate these meetings, I am going to make damn well sure that I can be present and a part of this process. Being involved is a key in order to moving forward with the project!!!!!

I just can't believe HOW INSANE this was?!? Of ALL the business cards of ALL the people in New York, I pulled out THIS GUY'S CARD. This connection to something that I am working on RIGHT NOW! Just made me realize how incredibly small this world can be sometimes. And....that there is some greater force out there in the universe. Some greater force that pulled all of these cards together and put them on my table.

Theatre of Rock

In April of 2011, John Forslund, the first person to say, "Yes!" to me here, offered me a gig singing backup for some up and coming Broadway people. The gig was to be called "Theatre of Rock", and I would be singing back up for current Broadway stars Felicia Finley, Brenda Braxton, and working with music director Chris Blisset and Broadway director Paul Stancato.

Uh, yes please?!?! When do I start!?

I was thrilled! John had recruited me from his "Bound for Broadway" singers showcase, and I feel so fortunate to have come across his path. And apparently have made an impression! The concert was featuring some of Chris's new music and wrapping a reading of 4 new rock musicals into one evening.

Upon my first listen...I was really nervous. This music was like...rock, dude. It was rock, infused with some metal, infused with some hip hop elements, too. And I am so, so NOT a rock/pop singer. Rodgers and Hammerstein? Yes, absotively positlutely. Gilbert and Sullivan? I'm your gal. AC/DC and Janis Joplin? Uh....what? I thought, HOW am I going to pull this off?

Well, I learned. The rehearsals were a fantastic process...Chris, or "Red" as he told us to call him, was such a great leader and I really felt connected to the music. I snagged the featured solo underneath Felicia Finley in her number, "Closing Time", written specifically for her by Chris himself. I just used the breathing support and ear training I had learned in school and tried my best to blend with everyone else, and as it turns out, I felt like the fastest learner and one of the strongest listeners in the group. THIS ONLY EMPHASIZES my belief that if you wanna do music, no matter what kind of music, study that classical shit first. Train your ear, learn your theory, and ESPECIALLY if you're a singer....learn how to breathe. Once you've obtained these skills...you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT and be a smart musician.

The shows we were featuring were: Basquiat, the musical (a musical biography of the life of artist Jean-Michel Basquiat, a very prominent figure in the New York pop culture scene in the early 1980s. He died at age 27 of a drug overdose) Basquiat featured my favorite songs in the program, "Tom Song", which was an account of Basquiat's death...amazing number, and also Mudd Club, and Genius Child. The other shows featured were "Kung Fusical, the Kung Fu Musical", and the "Country Christmas Show".

Crazy thing?! So when I decided to move to New York in January, I spent some time surfing the web about new musicals and potential venues that I should keep in mind and keep updated on. And what did I stumble on? A posting for music from "Kung Fusical, the Kung Fu Musical". NO KIDDING. And here I am, 4 months later, performing THIS MUSIC ON A STAGE with the guy who wrote it!! I remember that name specifically because, let's be real, how could one forget that name?

The concert was fantastic...my pants almost dropped when I got up on stage to sing with Felicia. I couldn't hear a damn thing because the guitar and drums were so loud, but I just trusted my instincts and rehearsal, and just let myself go with her. Red told me to sing out like it was a contest with Felicia, but, just let her win. Of course. Felicia was great. She was definitely a huge personality, but very friendly to all of us. A diva in the nicest way, in a way that I hope to be later in life.

I will never have a voice like Felicia's. But that's okay! Felicia has a specific kind of voice, very poppy and very cut-through-the audience vinegary in a fascinating way. She owns any room she walks into. And I LOVE that about her.

So, after the concert, we were invited to sing with Red and Felicia the FOLLOWING night at Therapy, a club in midtown, not far from the Theatre District. Again....YES PLEASE!!! The opportunity to sing with Felicia and Red in yet ANOTHER venue that I can put on my resume?! Awesome.

This has turned into something even further...I'm singing with Red and Felicia AGAIN on the stage where it all started. John has invited us to be special guests at his show at the Duplex in a few weeks! So excited! Yay for doing what I came here to do!

Gearing up for another week...

This week is going to be very eventful....and I'm just trying to take a few moments on this rainy, Monday morning on the couch with my coffee to meditate and mentally prepare myself.

For starters, I do have a full work schedule this week...meaning walking dogs from 9-5 everyday. This, I don't mind, as the absolute COLDEST it will be this week is 50 degreeees!!!!! Yay! It's a little wet today but it could be and HAS BEEN WORSE! I also have my restaurant shifts at Brother Jimmy's on Wed and Thursday. I have been so much happier since I've cut down to 2 days. I can't even tell you.

The most exciting development of the week is that I have an audition appointment for SOUTH PACIFIC.....the most amazing, in my opinion, piece of musical theatre in the literature!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave Clemmons is casting it, hence the whole reason why I have an appointment. I know that I have my foot in the door, and I also simply know that I CAN DO THIS. There is NO reason why I shouldn't be more right than ANY OTHER GIRL who will show up to this open call. Non equity girl, that is. Regardless, I'm going to go in with my pretty green dress singing "I Whistle A Happy Tune", all Nellie Forbush like and blow them away! I want to radiate: "HIRE ME. I'M AWESOME. I'M A TEAM PLAYER, I'M SMART AND I AM THE PERFECT FIT FOR THIS SHOW."

But what I must continue to tell myself is that while I know that I am 150% capable, if this gig doesn't work out, I need to be unattached to this outcome. It means that there is another opportunity for me out there that is better suited. And that I should learn from the process but continue moving forward.....I'm still trying to learn how to separate Sara Abernethy the human from "Sara Abernethy": The Product. Seeing as they are the same thing...it becomes difficult after enough people tell you, "No". But it's completely out of my control. What I CAN control is my presentation at my audition, which I know I will rock, because Rodgers and Hammerstein is my thing. rock on.

So there's that. And then this weekend, I've given myself a weekend of in Philadelphia to visit my darling Emily! I'm so excited! It's her birthday and I'm going there to celebrate it with her.

I also have my 2nd rehearsal for "Theatre of Rock", this concert of new music sung by Broadway singers in a few weeks. I'm singing back up....the music is superfresh and exciting, and it's a stupid networking opportunity for me. I LOVED every second of working on Saturday....I'm so hungry for work, I just gobbled it up! I can't wait until a time in my life that will consist of NOTHING but that kind of work. Surely, it comes along with new struggles, or maybe some of the same old ones, like, "HOWAMIGOINGTOMAKERENTHISMONTHA;LSKDJF;LASKJF;...." But, we'll just have to see when I get there!

And....we're off!

Spring is coming!!!!

A few new developments in the New York scene...

I got promoted as a dog walker, so now I do that full time and am spending less time at Brother Jimmy's. It makes me alot happier on an everyday basis, and it's totally flexible with auditions.

I got another gig...."THEATRE OF ROCK" and we just had our first rehearsal yesterday!!! It's really exciting, fresh new music that Chris Blisset composed for some new shows that he's working on. CRAZY networking opportunity!

Not really much to say...I've just decided to stop saying, "I'll let myself be happy when I get this first job..." or "I'll let myself be happy when I've dropped 20 pounds" or "I'll let myself be happy when I find the next person who I'll be in love with..." "I'll really be happy when the weather warms up..." It's just silly to keep myself from that place. I should let myself be happy NOW! I should let myself live now! I have an awesome and exciting life in the most exciting city in the world!

GIGZ.

Within the last 10 days, I've had my first 2 New York singing gigs! They were both the same concept, a group of 6-7 singers doing a few songs at this gay bar called "The Duplex" in the Village. It was appealing at first because it was communicated to me that the perk of doing the show was to sell tickets to your friends and put bodies in the seats in exchange for the company bringing in their industry contacts.

I chose "Vanilla Ice Cream" and "Still Hurting" for my two selections, and my main goal was to show off versatility as a singer. The two pieces are contrasting in tempo, style, era, and subject matter, which I felt strong about. I've ALWAYS wanted to sing "Still Hurting", even though it's a bit of a cliche piece....but I knew that I could own it in a way I've never seen done before.

The first performance was solid, however I was SO nervous knowing that my buddies were out there. Sometimes your friends are the hardest crowd to sing for. It was a torrential monsoon outside, so I was just thrilled that all my friends actually showed up! Afterwards, I had this surge of power and confidence, a total rush. Dad always says, "ride that high"....and I'm still riding it. There weren't any real industry contacts there, but this was an excellent opportunity for me to get a recording of myself and a video reel started.

The second performance was a little more dramatic, as I woke up sick as a dog. I was freaking out...feeling completely pressured that Dad had flown up from Raleigh specifically to see it, and that I wouldn't get the money back from my ticket sales if I canceled. I emailed all my voice teachers pleading for help, and everyone told me to cancel.

Regardless, I took a serving of Dayquill and a healthy serving of Ibuprofen, and a long hot shower where I warmed up and got a feel for the voice. My throat was sore and my glands were swollen, but it didn't hurt to sing, and as I slowly warmed up, there were only two notes in the voice that were really challenging. Both the top and bottom where there without extra effort. Since it didn't hurt, I decided to go through with it! And what a lesson in singing and taking the reigns it was!

Right before going on, I took a moment to realize, "Okay, you just can't push, and you have to rely solely on the air flow." I took some words and slightly closed the vowel where I normally wouldn't have in the middle voice, but it worked! It totally worked! The sound wasn't abnormal, and the audience was feeding me laughter and I was eating it up and feeding the fire. My high B at the end of "Vanilla Ice Cream" was actually even better than the first performance, where I was so nervous I let it slip out of the mask! Wahoo!!!! Some of the notes in "Still Hurting" were a little crackly because of the sick, but again, I knew I couldn't push, so I didn't, so other phrases that were challenging before where much easier!

I am so proud of myself for going through with it, and after listening to the recording, I'm even more proud. I made an educated assessment of my voice, and my classical training just kicked in and took over. All I had to do was trust my physical instincts and go with the breath. I have NEVER been more thankful for all my work with my teachers from high school and college!

So, first gig down! Next stop....audition, audition, audition some more!

This Day Feels Like A Whole Week

So, my second post for the day...and I must say that the events of today, that lasted a span of a mere 12 hours have felt like a weeks worth of events. I last wrote 6 hours ago, sitting waiting to go into an audition about how frustrated I was with my day and that sometimes we just have to move through these things.

And now, within the past 6 hours, I am singing a completely different tune. Allow me to elaborate.

After my audition for the Actor's Project NYC (which was great...I could tell that the dude was interested and I made him laugh, he asked me to sing something and told me I had a very "commercial" look, which I guess is a good thing) I went down to visit Dayna at Think Coffee. I sat down and wrote down some very existential emo-thoughts about the flow of the city and numbness, etc, and then Sean came in from the Strand and we set off together.

We had planned to gather a group of us to look through a musical that Sean really wants to work through called "Falsettoland" by William Finn, with whom, at this point, after working through "A New Brain" and "25th Annual Putnam Co. Spelling Bee" I am very familiar. I love singing his music....it makes my voice feel so full and juicy. But even just SITTING next to Sean on the subway reminded me how powerful human connection is. Just being able to sit next to someone I care about and respect made me feel better after my crummy day. Standing there next to the coffee bar watching Dayna make drinks and blab about my frustrations made me feel better. No matter where technology takes us in the future, there is just no substitute for human contact.

Which brings me to my next point...you can read all the "How to Succeed" books you want to, take everyone's tips about New York and try the best you can to ford your own stream, but nobody ever really tells you that it is VITAL to have a support network of friends when you move here. I am very lucky to have a support network mirrored to the one I had at UNC. After hitting my first hurdle today, I know they are necessary to my survival here. Like I said, human contact, even without words, as simple as sitting next to Sean on the subway, relieved alot of tension and turmoil that I was feeling. So yeah, in the future, if anyone asks me what to do about moving to New York, the first thing I'll say is, "Make absolutely sure that you bring a friend. 1o? Even better."

Later that night, Sean, Dayna and I ventured to William and Geoff's apartment where everyone was kind enough to listen to the songs I've been preparing for a Singer's Showcase performance on Sunday night. I'm singing "Still Hurting" from Jason Robert Brown's "The Last 5 Years" and "Vanilla Ice Cream" from "She Loves Me". Contrasting pieces....but dude, emotionally draining. I was SO nervous to sing in front of my friends, but I'm so glad that I got it oUT OF THE WAY. It relieved alot of pressure I was feeling about this week. They gave me very helpful constructive criticism and I love them for that. I could have paid someone else, some "professional" $100 to tell me exactly what they told me tonight. Thank God for friends.

We talked about "Falsettoland" and entertained ideas for where we could take it...but really it will just be a group of friends singing together in a living room for the fun of it. But that's the point....we've all worked together before and love and trust each other, and we're all so thirsty for a creative outlet. Talking about this new project made me feel like I was in Pauper Players mode again....and I would be lucky if I could be as happy as that now.

I had to write this all down because this one day, Monday, February 28th, went through a whole span of emotions. The best times are going to be these...sitting in a friend's living room with a $3 bottle of red wine and our unrivaled hope and drive talking about plans for a new creative theatrical project. I'm sure I will look back on these times and wish I had a taste of that same zest. I also need to really relish these days of being 23 and having a 12 hours so full of events and emotions that it feels like a whole week...it certainly keeps things exciting.

So, furthermore with the profound thoughts: DEPEND ON YOUR FRIENDS. FRIENDSHIP AND GOOD COMPANY IS THE BEST CURE FOR ANY AILMENT AND THE WORST OF DAYS.

Slumpity Slump

Okay, I think I've hit my first New York slump. I thought I would just write it out and maybe then I would feel better.

It's stemming from a combination of many things. Last week I was a Brother Jimmy's SLAVE between working my normal hostess shifts and going through training at a new location where I'll be working permanently starting this week. I didn't mind though, thinking that I'd be working as a server and having alot more financial flexibility. Last night, during my last training shift, I finally meet the GM of the store and he informs me that really I'll just be working as a hostess, since he has to offer the serving shifts to other hostesses who have been there longer. FUCK. THAT. I was furious. FURIOUS. I mean, yes, I can pick up shifts at other places, but that's dumb. Secondly, I am $40 short on rent, meaning that I won't even be able to pay in full until Friday when I get a pay check.

Training was also a drag...I was ready by the end of the first shift to take the whole section for the whole shift. I hated having to do it 3 times. I'm also having my special monthly time, so in addition to being irritable, emotional and in pain, my voice is acting fuzzy, which I HOPE is in conjunction with me not drinking enough water. Solution = drink more water. Drink NO alcohol, which I shoudn't be doing ANYWAY this week because I have a showcase on Sunday.

And on to that. I have a Singer's Showcase on Sunday, which I am very excited about, however since I am SO short on money, I don't have any resources to pay for a rehearsal pianist, meaning that my performance will NOT be as strong. Not only can I not pay for the rehearsal, I am slightly concerned that my friends will not all follow through when they said they are coming to support me, meaning I'll have to pay the difference. The only way I can get more money is to work more stupid hostess shifts, which are also conversely TERRIBLE for my voice because Brother Jimmy's is so fucking loud. And then I exhaust myself so that my singing isn't as on par the next day.

A vicious circle of poverty. Not enough money to pay for the constructive things I should be doing for my performing, and then not being able to perform well so I can expend that energy working to earn money. And then I get so depressed about all of this and feeling trapped in a little crack on the sidewalk of Queens that the only possible option to elevate my mood is to drown my sorrows with a bottle of red wine, a solution that is neither affordable nor constructive.

I knew this move would be hard. I KNEW it. And this is only the beginning of the challenges, and I know it's all relative. I'm still excited to be here, and so relieved to have my friends, but this is definitely my first hurdle. I just wish I could take a whole week OFF to decompress and do some things that I would enjoy, like seeing some shows or going to museums, enjoying NEW YORK for goodness sake!

Phew. Sean told me to not fight the feeling, but just go ahead and feel it. FEEL it. Use it. It's food, man. He said the most beautiful thing to me, "Cling to this feeling and go with the flow. It's driftwood." And that is one of the most inspiring things I've heard in awhile....almost inspiring enough for me to write a song.

So, profound thought for the day: SOMETIMES DAYS IN NEW YORK ARE JUST GOING TO SUCK. YOU WON'T ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THAT YOU SET OUT TO DO AND YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL DOWN IN THE DUMPS, BUT IT'S OKAY. THE REAL HERO IN YOU COMES THROUGH WHEN YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD DURING THE TIMES WHERE YOU DON'T FEEL SO GREAT.

New Morning

Last night, I had drinks with friends Dayna and Mike at our favorite margarita joint, Blockheads. I am truly the most inspired when I am with people that I love. I had such a good time with them that I decided to wander over to Times Square and enjoy the lights of New York on a Saturday night. It was only about 40 degrees, so it wasn't too cold.

Times Square really can be enchanting if you have a moment to enjoy it. I ended up right next to the New Amsterdam Theatre where Mary Poppins was playing. I remembered this was the theatre where Julie Andrews starred as Eliza Doolittle in "My Fair Lady", and I ended up being able to get a last minute ticket to the performance. My first Broadway show living in New York!

Going to the theatre is truly something magical. The excitement, the glamour, the buzz in the air as the audience takes their seats is a feeling I have almost forgotten about. It was a delightful show...I tried as hard as I could to sit back and let myself be entertained as opposed to analyzing every second of it. It was a great production...and furthermore, I strengthened my belief that I CAN DO THIS. I am just as capable of being up there as anyone else in that cast, but I just have to continue to be strong and believe. The wonderful 11 o'clock number in the show sang a tune to "Anything can happen if you let it...", and I thought, what a wonderful motto! To close the show, Mary Poppins flies over the audience, and I just wept. Someday I will make this happen, but it's not going to be easy, and I know that I just have to prove to universe that I am capable.

After the show, I met a bunch of friends at a karaoke bar on the east side and decided to walk. I walked along 42nd St. past Bryant Park, the New York Public Library, Grand Central Station and the Chrysler Building and just let myself take it in. It was really a New York minute.

I just know that I am exactly right where I need to be at this time.

This morning I'm feeling very inspired and I need to keep looking for auditions!

Lunch with Aunt Betty and Uncle Geoff

Yesterday, my very dear aunt and uncle from Atlanta were in town briefly for a doctor's appointment. I wasn't happy about the circumstances, because Uncle Geoff isn't really well, but I was overjoyed to see them, especially since I've missed the last 4 consecutive family gatherings.

They took me to Brasserie on 53rd and Lexington Ave...and were sweet enough to offer me anything on the menu. With all my options, what do you think I ordered? A cheeseburger, cooked rare. Yummmm!!! Honestly, with all this ramen noodle eating, a solid serving of beef really is a treat for me. We had such a great time, they talked about old fun times they had in New York in their early twenties, right when they had starting dating. I've always loved spending time with Aunt Betty and Uncle Geoff...and I know it's been important to my mom for me to grow up with them. They have such a strong marriage. I began talking about how many of my friends had started to pair off, forgetting that the two of them have been together for over 4 years...married for 37.

I began to think about how blessed I would be to have such a marriage. No, it hasn't been easy. But I feel like Aunt Betty and Uncle Geoff truly embody the vows you think of when married. They are also such a great match for each other, even 37 years later. They fit into each other's families. They come from similar backgrounds....it just makes me really reflect when I think about the life that I want as I move forward. It really just makes sense to be with someone who has a similar background, I think. As experimental and adventurous as I am, there are some things that will never change. I don't know where I'll want to live or what I'll be doing, but I know exactly what kind of home I want.

Having lunch with them also brought me a little down to earth. I am so happy that I am here pursuing a career in singing, and each and every day is new and exciting. However, should I get really lucky and continue forward, I know that singing alone won't make me completely happy. Being here so far, I have learned that I'm really the most happy as long as I'm surrounded by people that I love and trust. If I can be creatively stimulated in addition to that, I could never ask for anything more. I know that I want a family and a home where I can give and love and nurture. I want that more than singing, because, at the end of my life, I predict I will be much more fulfilled at Thanksgiving with a table full of family than a drawer full of programs.

Aunt Betty and Uncle Geoff, and my mom, of course, have been crucial in instilling this value in me.

So, piece of wisdom for the day: KEEP YOURSELF SURROUNDED WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE, AND YOU'LL NEVER BE UNHAPPY.

Singing at the Stonewall Inn

I've made 2 consecutive appearances now at the Stonewall Inn on Wednesday night where they're holding this American Idol-esque singing competition. Jordan's boyfriend Matty is a contestant, and I was happy to go support him. He has a pants-dropping voice and such a strong and secure performance style, all a huge surprise from this short, Hawaiian-born gum surgeon.

The judges are the best part of this contest. Last night we had 2 drag queens, and 2 other producer guys, who I'm 90% sure were gay. I thought at the end of the show it would be beneficial to introduce myself to these folks...I mean, you never know, right? As it turns out the one dude knew one of the showcases I'm singing in, and was likely to be there.

The other dude was a character. And thus brings me to my piece of advice for myself for this post.

ALOT OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO LISTEN TO THEMSELVES TALK. This one judge stood there with an arm around me talking for 20 solid minutes, basically explaining the competition to me and how it worked (I was like Dude...I'm not stupid...) and mentioned about 20 times that he goes to see 300 shows a year and this is what he does....blah blah blah. It was funny. He probably won't even remember me, but that's okay.

I just need to learn the difference between who is worth listening to for 20 minutes, and who is just saying words. I recognize the fact that I'll run into alot of cocky people as I move forward, and that's okay.

First of the First

I keep having these moments of inspiration on the subway or walking down the street and I keep thinking "I SHOULD WRITE THIS DOWN".

And so I begin.

Just your typical story. 4 weeks ago, on January 25th, 2011, I got off the train at Penn Station with 2 suitcases, $500, a heart full of dreams and a head full of determination. I had a job lined up, a few industry contacts, a map of the subway in my head and a very important support network of friends. I got straight to business. I found a furnished sublet upon my 2nd day in Astoria and didn't waste any time going to auditions.

And, as I expected, I was challenged. Balancing a 7 hour host shift which requires talking over a bar full of 200 people, blaring drunk music followed by a 7 am singers call, doing it all over again and trying to afford rent, a subway pass, and a week's worth of ramen noodles isn't for everyone. I am loving every minute of it.

I am hungry for this life. I am, right now, in exactly the right place at the right time in the world. I have high ambitions and expectations, but I have to remind myself to be realistic and be smart in my approach. I wanted to document some of my early words of wisdom to myself so I can remember them when I get down.

1) SHOW UP.

It's been said before, "Showing up is half the battle." Actually, it's WAY more than that. If you can just GET yourself to wherever you're going, no matter how early, no matter what it is, you can usually get something from it. Even if it's just a chance to practice the art of auditioning, you will gain something. At least for now, in the early stages of things.

2) PAY ATTENTION.

Don't get all "artisty" getting lost in your iPod or your music or daydreaming about whoever the yummy looking man who was making eyes at you on the subway was. Pay attention, because if something changes, or they call your name, or 50 people ahead of you aren't there, you'll want to hear it when the monitor makes an announcement.

3) SPEAK THE TRUTH AND LOVE.

Everyone there is trying to do what you are too. So, sympathize. It isn't necessary to be overly nice or fake with anyone, but you never know who is watching you in the waiting room, who is standing next to you in the elevator, OR who you could be working with 6 months from now.

4) DON'T BE ATTACHED TO OUTCOMES.

It's NOT about you. It's about the audience. Always. It's a business, and you're the product. So separate who you are from what you do as a performer as much as possible. "Rejection" isn't because you're a gigantic loser...it's because you don't fit the product. Not personal.